Inspiration
by Jess
A few weeks ago I ran across this little blurb, by Literary Bohemian.
"Outer sources of inspiration -no matter how profound- are in every case filtered through the being of the artist and through the eyes of the beholder. It is the gift of the artist to allow the world to see life through his or her own eyes. While inspiration abounds and the muse plays her coy game of hide-and-seek, the heart and soul of the artist actively participates in the formation of inner landscapes. Do I believe that inspiration comes from within? I believe that interpretation comes from within. As for inspiration –it lives everywhere!"
I follow this woman’s blog for two reasons. First off, her writing is wonderful. It’s about her own journey to become an artist, but her writing is also motivational for others. I have, more than once, come to her sight just out of curiosity and walked away feeling buoyed by her positive thoughts, introspection, questioning nature and willingness to keep trying to be that artist she feels within her. Secondly, she’s really trying to consciously address the creative person in her, and I connect with that. I think a lot of writers would connect with her – who happens to be a painter, not a writer.
A lot of would – be writers’ (or artists’) biggest challenge is not the sitting down at the chair (that’s a close second) but what happens when we start pressing keys. What happens to me? Either I flow, taking slight stumbles and moments of confusion, but mostly chugging along at a decent pace, or, I explode. I don’t mean explode in a good way. Sometimes I feel like the well is dry. Probably I’ve been lazy, and I’ve simply gone too long without really writing. Writing about vacations is fun, but this is not practice. This is not a challenge to the wanna-be writer blooming inside. So now I’ve withered, and the first few words I type make me want to gag. Seriously. They make me turn red and I get nauseous. What. Is. This. Crap. On. The. Screen? I explode, angry, sure that I’m a fraud, a ridiculous person who occaisonally has bouts of coherent passages, but really, we all have our flukes, right?
It can be so easy to get caught up in the self-doubt. That’s one thing that amazes me. Why are we, human beings, bestowed with this capability to doubt ourselves into submission?
Whatever the reason, it needs to be overcome. If it’s not possible to overcome it for good (I would like to know, from some very experienced writers, does it ever go away?) then it is necessary to overcome that self-doubt, the boo-hooing "i’m not really a writer" business that takes up so much of our time, WHENEVER WE ARE INSPIRED. I’ve been really unsuccessful and lazy at following a writing schedule. This is part of my problem. I fall too easily into not writing when I say my best writing only comes when I’ve been "mused up." However, if I acknowledge that this is my working mode right now. It may be lazy, but I’m going to ignore that, and just say that I’m trying, and I do write, and just focus on what my working mode is. If I take that, and I just say to myself, nothing crazy, but I will write when I am inspired, about anything, then I find that the ideas tumble out, and I have a list of things I want to write about. Last weekends illness, and why it is the fault of good manners; how multi-layered the phrase "I’m a hypochondriac" is; father figures in later adult life. It’s all out there – waiting to be tapped.
I’m not saying that this is going to fix my lazy butt, and that next month I’ll be doing a steady four hours a day. No way. I’m just saying that I’m going to give inspiration a closer look.
And I’m saying, you should check out her blog, if you’re looking for some too. Good luck to all you writers out there. You have it in you, but as my Dad once told me, "Scribble, scribble, scribble!"
Comments
First, thank you so much for the compliments! I’m blushing…
Secondly, Just so you know, I’m also a writer and English Major along with being an artist. So, I can sympathize with your angst. I even have a piece of art named “Writer’s angst”. It’s a picture (charcoal and pastel) of a woman staring at the glow of her computer screen late at night wondering if what she’s written is any good. Sometimes she wonders if she’s an imposter, sometimes she wonders if inspiration will ever come… Those doubts are what I call writer’s angst and it sucks. It’s a battle.
But you know, I truly believe that if writing (or art) are things you are passionate about, something you feel deep inside you, those battles are worth fighting. Even if those demons (I call her the Gremlin Goddess but others call her the inner critic) follow us around for the rest of our lives, isn’t it worth fighting them in order to pursue our passions?
Right now I’m feeling optimistic and buoyed by your post so I can say all these positive things with a straight face and mean them. But, there are days when I feel the angst and the Gremlin Goddess more than anything else. Those are the hard days. I keep my fingers crossed that they will eventually pass. They always do.
p.s. Anyone who thinks so highly of me automatically gets to be on my Blogroll. I think I’ll put you under my “Lovely Ladies†Section.