Some of the things I (still) miss
by Jess
It’s summer again. I’ve lived in Switzerland for exactly a year. Some longings have come and gone, and others still flare from time to time. I consider my longings for certain things in America separate from my feelings
about my new country. It’s not a black and white issue: missing America
doesn’t mean I don’t like Switzerland. It’s just that a few never leave me, and stay by my side, no matter how much I integrate into/love this country I call home for the moment. For instance, I crave a diet Dr.Pepper Every Single Day without fail. It’s worse than nicotine folks. I NEED larger cups! On a weekly basis, I have a full blown daydream of yelling down into my mother’s basement at my brother to get his @$$ upstairs so that we can go to the Taco Bell five minutes down the road, and then both plop down in front of the television (preferably Ellen DeGeneres, but my brother has a strange affinity for animal planet) to devour it. I miss bookstores, and some of you will know what I mean immediately. I do not miss the four walls. I miss that there is a multi-billion dollar company whose sole mission is to indulge my lazy, nerdy ways.
As it warms up to summer, I realize that there will not be a farmer selling gi-normous "on your honor" Canteloupe and Watermelon. I can buy what looks to be the runt of the Canteloupe litter here, a thing no bigger than the palm of my hand, from the Swiss grocery store for 5 bucks. There is an abundance of fresh fruit, and vegetables here, so I’ve no room to complain in that regard, it’s just that I won’t be seeing a cleaver half a giant melon in two this summer, and that’s a bit too bad for such a hot summer. I even laugh at myself, how I used to get ridiculously annoyed opening the fridge and finding that one half of the watermelon had taken over an entire shelf of the fridge, meaning there was no cold DDP in there. But I digress.
It’s easiest to spell out what I miss with edible, drinkable lists. However, much of what I miss is a subtle tint to life, certain attitudes and habits that were the pillars to my young life in America: the (meaningful) high-five; Flippy Cups; holding entire conversations with only quotes from recent movies; road-trips; diners and the hope that your waitress will one day actually be named Flo; the never-ending pursuit of inane rituals, festivals and uniquely themed parties; songs about pickups, cheating women and prison. Tailgating.
I see, with one quick glance, that the above paragraph does no justice to what it is I wish for today. To be clear, there’s nothing amiss, or sad, or even less than great about the time ahead of me here in Switzerland. I’m going running in the forest, making scones, writing and planning a grocery list for tomorrow’s farmers market. However, I will continue to daydream that someone at boxing one day screams out, "Kick his ass, Seabass!" or that Jonathan waltzes in the door weighed down with a bag of Indiana corn in one hand, and a six-pack of Bud in the other. I would love to wake up tomorrow morning, and watch aging football players give me a monotone run-down of the upcoming season’s best picks.
Clearly you can take the girl out of Texas…
So, if my words are insufficient and blurred today, take a look at this article, which is what instigated this post.
Comments
I know exactly how you feel. It has nothing to do with how you feel about living here– I adore our town, I adore our life, I adore being here in Switzerland, and hope we stay here for years to come! But I get pangs every so often of all the things that are uniquely american, and so unattainable here. The easiest to think of is food– I’ve had strange recent cravings for fast food that I rarely touched while actually living in the states (except for In-N-Out burger, we’d get our hands on that as often as physically possible). But it’s also things like… I used to often go down to the huge Borders by our house, grab all the gossip magazines, get a mocha or tazo peach iced tea and a cream-cheese pretzel, and sit in the coffee shop reading my magazines. I miss that ritual.
“However, much of what I miss is a subtle tint to life, certain attitudes and habits that were the pillars to my young life in America: the (meaningful) high-five; Flippy Cups; holding entire conversations with only quotes from recent movies; road-trips; diners and the hope that your waitress will one day actually be named Flo; the never-ending pursuit of inane rituals, festivals and uniquely themed parties; songs about pickups, cheating women and prison. Tailgating.”
I think one of the hardest things about being an expat is knowing you’ll never fully belong. You can become entirely fluent in a language, know all the ins and outs of bureaucracy, appreciate the food and culture… and yet there’s always something little you’ll miss about not having grown up in the country, listening to the music, watching TV or the movies, etc. It’s not important for day-to-day survival, but over time, it’s a little emptiness that you start to notice.
When I was back in the US just now, it was those same little things that made me feel like part of me was now Swiss. I was in shock from the half-assed recycling efforts. I no longer had idea what had been playing on TV, what people were talking about, or what was fashionable. It was eerie.
Well, of course, you’re feeling that way right now. It’s the Fourth of July (or will be in a few days). I’m in Seattle and we’re gearing up for a neighborhood potluck. So fun. I’m baking a bone-in ham, a neighbor is bringing over his great big BBQ, and we’ll hang out on my deck for hours.
P.S. I so envy your access to all that great Swiss chocolate. And I love Zermatt and Ticino. And I loved reading about your shopping experiences. Keep up the great writing.